I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
