hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
wow bdsm is so cute
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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