I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
vagina is talking i cant
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
