She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
