There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize