Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
