my vag is so smooth its legendary
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
