You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
