I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
