What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
