whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
