I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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