My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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