I've blown a few things in my day
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
