Your face is a jimmy john
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
