I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
