my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
