You made me cry and you don't even care
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
