It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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