I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood