Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy