Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
