Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
