If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
