i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
