I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize