I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
