Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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