Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
