How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
