yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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