People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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