Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
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That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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