party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
