i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Can Purell be used as lube?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
