Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
did i just pee glitter
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
