THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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