I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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