you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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