we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
