I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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