I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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