I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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