Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize