i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
