that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
