yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So many bounce houses so little time
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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