he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He passed out mid-signature
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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