After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
