You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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