I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
