She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
