these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
