Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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