i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
