I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
ugly people sure do ruin things
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
