so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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