we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
