Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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