arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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