Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
