I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
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