why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
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