so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
