2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
