Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
