yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize