I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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