what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
